Well here we are again.  Yet another year has come and gone.  It's been a curious year in many ways. 

JANUARY: Although I was still quite hurt over the previous month's email dumping, I booked a holiday in Barcelona with my best mate and had a short-lived obsession with aerobics (only attended one class I think before which I accidentally went into the male changing room and saw a hot bloke butt naked).  Oh and there was the crisis when a filling came out with chewing gum.  Not ideal.

FEBRUARY: This was the month that I sent a purple and lime green papier mache duck to a stranger on MySpace (who reckoned he was an artist) and a papier mache pink and white donkey to my bestest man friend for Valentine's Day (who sent me beautiful flowers).

MARCH:  I went to Barcelona this month and saw the biggest willy ever (at the Museu de l'Erotica)!  But got rotten flu the day before we travelled and was ill the entire time.  I've vowed to return to that fantastic city - without any germs.  Oh and there was further crisis of the filling.

APRIL:  I went speed dating this month and it was hilarious.  When I got there the ex was down to speed date!  The hosts panicked because the week before there had been a broken-up couple turn up and the woman ended up being arrested for assault!  The Ex didn't appear, the hosts sighed with relief and I was amused by the whole situation!

MAY: I passed my driving theory and hazard perception tests!  Woohoohurrah! 

JUNE: I saw Amy Winehouse at the Carling Academy, Bristol.  She was bloody fantastic, if a little sloshed.  Oh and I got elected as a full member of the AAT, yey!

JULY: I was an OUSA rep at one of the OU's summer schools in Bath.  It was bizarre but marvellous!

AUGUST: Quite an uneventful month, although my secondment in Belfast kicked off right at the end. 

SEPTEMBER: A busy month.  Firstly there was the OUSA training day, the start of my course with the OU, more travelling to Belfast and, of course, the trip to Hastings to meet up with some chums I've not seen for nine or so years on my birthday!  The stinky coaches to Hastings and back were the thing that kick started my driving lessons again.

OCTOBER: I flew to Luton, from Belfast, this month to visit mum.  An...erm...'interesting' weekend.

NOVEMBER: I went to the AATs awards ceremony in Bristol to collect a fabulous certificate and have free champagne.  Free bubbles, always a winner in my book.

DECEMBER: Two (sober) Christmas parties and a random meeting with a crazy Frenchman who showed me how it's done. 

What a peculiar year.  What'll happen next I wonder....

I had another plane crash dream last night :(  I thought they'd stopped.  This time I was flying to America.  I did wonder if the propeller plane I was getting on would actually get us there (do propeller planes fly international??).  As we took off the plane started making terrible noises and we plummeted to the Earth.  Being the sensible sort I just shut my eyes at take off and didn't open them until I was battling to get out of the emergency exit.  Luckily for us the emergency exit was actually a patio door on the side of the plane.  We has crashed on a road in the Barbican (London) and there were fires everywhere.  Hm.  Not the cheeriest of dreams that's for sure.  I'm not setting foot on a plane again for just over a week so by then I hope I'll have forgotten the dream because I had actually only just kicked the I'm-terrified-of-flying issue.

What a dull dull day indeed.  The highlight?  Having an excuse to wear a black woolly hat whilst walking to the shops.  It was dark by the way.  Well I didn't want to look like a mugger in daylight now did I?!  So I bought some lovely food from the supermarket, got home.... and what did I do?  Did I cook said lovely food?  Nope.  I cracked open the Pringles like I was at some one-person buffet.  I have so much to do and have no inclination to do any of it.  Study?  Yawn.  Hoover?  God no.  Frantically read my new book on creating sketchbooks?  Too many words, not enough pictures.  Re-arrange the magnetic letters on my fridge?  That involves moving.  Leap up and find out if the burning smell is just the oven or is in fact my pizza?  I suppose I could do that one....

"Nearly twice as many women as men wish they had married someone else, a poll for Bradford & Bingley bank reveals.  More than one in five wives - 22% - told researchers that if they could turn back the clock, they would change their husband.  Only 12% of married men said they regretted their choice of wife.

Take a Break, 20th October 2007, Issue 43

(For the record... I don't actually buy Take a Break - they temporarily fall open in my flat on their path from my step-mums to my elderly neighbours... ehem)

...bored.

Yet another evening of strange dreams yesterday.  I found myself being a judge for a decathlon.  Only this wasn't just any decathlon.  Oh no.  This was a decathlon for water sports and vegetable growers.  Yep.  Firstly there was a round of wind surfing followed by a round of potato judging.  Potato judging?!?!  What on Earth goes through this brain of mine?!

Well today I had a superb driving lesson.  Firstly we ran a bit of an errand.  The instructor wasn't sure where we were going so gave instructions from a map.  I found myself trying to drive up a hill so steep that it hardly moved in first gear.  I certainly learnt what the clutch smells like!  Then we sort of got stuck down a narrow dead end - luckily we'd swapped and she drove.  It was a bit of a mission to find this place - luckily I'd taken a box of chocolates with me and just ate them.  As you do during a driving lesson.  Errand ran, time to have a lesson.... "Oh Bev, I need the loo now...." (well it was a two hour lesson!)  so we then had to hunt around for a WC!  Haha!  Following that, a mean man parked so close to the car that I couldn't actually get it out.  Cue another driver swap....   After that it was all good.  I so wish I could legally drive already.  I'm itching to vroom around now.  Although the notion of driving alone is a bit scary.  I think I'll avoid thinking about that right now...

I was off to a friend's for New Year, all very excited.  But now she's gone on a last minute trip to Paris with a chap.  How romantic is that?!  So, ho hum, now I'm wondering what on Earth to do for New Year.  Hrmph.  You know what?  As of 1st of January 2008 my life is going to change.  It's been a crazy mad six months (will probably reflect in a rambly manner on New Year's Eve).  Time and tide waits for no man - so very true.  There are so many exciting things to do, opportunities to make and take and hell I'm going to do something about it!  (Yes, I had my Weetabix today) 

I had the most peculiar dream last night.  I became a flight attendant.  Because I pretty much know the safety demo by rote (having watched it so many times) the airline decided not to train me.  So I got on the plane with the Crazy Frenchman (see 22nd December entry) and we boarded the passengers.  Then we started on our way.  Only I didn't know how to work the announcement system.  The Crazy Frenchman came up the plane and pressed a button and the safety demo came out in French.  All the passengers were confused.  I was confused.  The plane was taxiing jolly fast.  I looked out the windows and found that we were hurtling down the road from Paignton to Brixham.  That was slightly odd.  So I rang the flight deck and told the pilots that the passengers were scared.  We came to an abrupt halt and the door to the flight deck opened.  Two flight attendants came out and apologised profusely.  It turns out that the particular plane we were on had been converted to a road vehicle!!!

'Later she would say to her best friend, Loretta, "I no longer think I lack judgement about men.  I will never again say my instincts are poor, no sir, because how do I keep finding this this same guy over and over?  I am beginning to think I have a very keen sense of judgement, only it would seem that it is on somebody else's side."'

Pay It Forward, Catherine Ryan Hyde, 1999, ISBN 067102860X

A miracle has occurred.  I had a reasonably successful driving lesson!  Yes!  It's amazing!  I didn't have the urge to drive over any roundabouts today!  Woohoo!

Good manners matter more than good looks when women are looking for a partner, according to a poll commissioned by Debrett's, the authority on etiquette. 

Take a Break, 29th November 2007, Issue 48

Well now.  It's been a while since I had one of my long rambles.  Time to catch up... 

The nicest thing happened to me yesterday (after I walked out the hotel to go to work only to realise I'd left my suitcase at breakfast).  I recently met a person who made an impression on me.  We got on exceptionally well and he is kind of crazy himself.  For anyone who reads my Facebook status, I am talking about the mad Frenchman who stole my imaginary horse.  So we met a few times, had a fantastic time, but unfortunately his stint of work in Belfast is almost up.  I'm not flying back before he finishes so it was a bit of a farewell the other night.  So I was at the airport on Friday, standing in the queue at the departures gate when I suddenly hear this person panting next to me.  I turn round and it was him!  He'd come to say goodbye and see me off.  I even got escorted to the plane.  It made my day.  Although, thinking about it, maybe that was to make sure I was actually going away?!  Haha!  It was such a nice surprise to see him just as I was about to board the plane.  <sigh>  I hope we stay in touch, I feel that I only just scratched the surface. 

After boarding the plane I felt very sad.  Sad to be saying 'cheerio' to my new crazy chum but also to be leaving Belfast for a few weeks.  I've come to feel quite at home in the city

(http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=22910&l=72f1d&id=515432132) and I'm not back until mid-January.  It'll be very strange not having to pack on Sunday that's for sure.  So while I was busy being all glum I totally forgot to be scared!  I can officially declare that my flight on Friday was completely fear-free!  100%  How marvellous is that?!  It's only taken three months...  Walking into the arrivals hall in Exeter was quite nice.  It was busier than usual with families meeting their businessman fathers/husbands/etc (yes, it was mainly men on the plane).  It was quite nice to see.  I felt a smidge envious for a few seconds before greeted with a smile by one of my favourite taxi drivers.

Strolling around Sainsburys today with my dad we walked down the pet food.  In amongst the kittie biscuits was a most unexpected thing.  What do you think, you walk down an aisle, pick up an item, see something else, think "actually, I don't want this first thing" and then put the original item down.  Right?  So what on earth was someone thinking when they put a tube of Durex Play Heat on a cat food shelf?!?!?  Dad and I had a jolly good giggle about that.

"Scientists say they have evidence that prawns and lobsters feel pain.  Researchers at Queen's University, Belfast, dabbed acetic acid on 144 prawns.  They reacted by rubbing the affected area - a focused response similar to that seen in mammals, which the scientists say shows the invertebrates feel pain.  But other scientists refute the theory, saying the prawns were merely cleaning themselves."

The Independent, Thursday 8th November 2007

Are we all of us at least a bit screwed up?

"As a trained psychotherapist with immense clinical experience, I can offer the following technical analysis.  There are only two categories into which all humans fall: people who are screwed up, and people who know they are screwed up."  Matthew Simpson, Sheffield

From Notes & Queries.  The Guardian, 4th December 2007

Nicole:  "It's only human to be curious Harry"

Harry:  "Well as far as I'm concerned you're far too human"

Gambit (1966), Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine

"If your child has an imaginary friend, don't worry.  Researchers at the Institute of Education in London say that pretend friends make children more confident and articulate.  Educational psychologist Karen Majors says its a normal phenomenon for normal children."

Take a Break, 13th September 2007, Issue 37

What about my imaginary horse???

It was very strange not checking out this morning.  I've been on the third floor again this week which has been good - since I hate the lifts so vehemently it means it's not so much of a hike up the stairs.  Now, however, I'm realising that it's not such a great floor after all.... There is a conference suite on the second floor and tonight UTV are having their Xmas bash.... and I can hear the music clear as a bell.  I don't mind too much to be honest - I mean, it's Friday night and I'm in Belfast City Centre, I have no business being in my bedroom at this time - but I discovered myself dancing around the bed to S-Club 7.  Yes.  I hold my head in shame.  ("....listen to the music, taking you to places that you've never been before baby now..." Oh no.  Now they're having a run of Christmas songs.  "Rocking around the Christmas tree...." EEEK!  And now I'm singing along.  Help me someone.

As I type this I'm being very cautious in drinking a cup of tea.  I sort of had a minor accident in the week.  Ehem.  I, er, took a full mug of hot chocolate to bed and promptly fell asleep.  I woke up in the wee small hours and wondered, in horror, if I'd had some sort of accident.  And then I found the mug next to me.  A whole mug of hot chocolate spread over my once crisp white sheets.  Frantic attempts at clearing up the mess resulted in a pile of brown sheets accompanied by a letter to the housekeeper expressing my sincerest apologies and explaining that it was a beverage so that she didn't think that it was... well, to be blunt, poo.  Oh dear.  Luckily I had some spare PJs what with staying in NI for a longer period than usual but today I decided to put the soiled (now that does make it sound quite grim) PJs in the hotel laundry - they didn't escape the runaway chocolate.  I've just realised that I've forgotten to put a little explanation on the laundry slip so some poor chappie is going to be riffling through my laundry bag and thinking really bad things.  Oh dear :-s

Britons have fallen out of love with the love letter, with fewer than one in five (17 per cent) having received one from an admirer in the past year, research shows.  Only 28 percent have received a letter from a lover in the past five years, according to Bradford & Bingley.  More than a third (35 per cent) of those aged between 16 and 34 have never written a letter to their sweetheart.

The Independent, Friday 23rd November 2007

Aw that's a bit sad isn't it?  Nothing like a good love letter :)

I'm just looking at the 10 Downing Street website, signing some petitions, and came across this petition:

"We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Ban any body with the name BOB BAT - Reeducate anybody with the name BOB and rename if a refusal is made 12 Months Hard Labour cleaning weeds off the Motorway hard shoulders.." 

For some reason the government rejected it.  I can't think why....

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/BanBob/

But anyway, please could UK residents please sign up to the following petition if they get a chance?

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/ELQFunding/

The government are withdrawing HE funding for students who are studying a course that is equivalent to, or below, a qualification already held by them.  That means that the maths degree I'm currently working towards will be halted in about a year when the fees are too high for me to afford.  :(

After making my way through security yesterday I had a sudden panic.  The flight to Exeter had vanished off the departures board.  Hm.  Eventually this lady said "Oh, yes, it's fallen off the board, we'll put it back on".  It's fallen?  How can it fall, it's a computer system?  Anyway, it reappeared but with no information against it.  I began to wonder if it was a bit of a bad omen... I even text Mai to grant her unlimited access to the contents of my flat should the worse occur.  Yes.  I am a drama queen.  Eventually we boarded and I found a new way to cope.  Right.  It goes something like this.  As we're hurtling down the runway, swaying from side to side for some reason, in my head I found myself saying "vroom vroom" with so much effort I silently chuckled with mild amusement.  After about five sets of these I started to get bored and wanted to take off already so I could conclude with "Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!".  And I did of course.  Yes.  I know I'm not a ten year old.  It helped though!!!  The flight was a tad rough and at one point it felt akin to being in a can of baked beans rattling around a washing machine.  Not that I know what it's like being in a can of baked beans or even a washing machine to that end.  But, you know what?  I think that's what it could be like.  I'm trying to find a way of turning the fear into excitement and there's only so much joy you can get out of a cup of Flybe tea.  You get lots of tea leaves floating in your cup, it's not the best.  On the plus side, though, at least if you've got the leaves in your stomach it saves having to brew up again...

Several of us went to a quiz night on Thursday.  We weren't very good.  In fact we came last.  Ehem.  But we did get a bottle of wine for being such fabulous losers.  Either that or everyone took pity on the "poor English team in the corner who don't know their Irish politics/local knowledge".   The annoying thing is that several of the questions had answers in the latest edition of New Scientist.  I kept muttering "damn" under my breath as I discovered this on the plane yesterday.  No wonder the man next to me looked scared.  First his demented neighbour is pretending she's a flying car (despite this being in her head and he would only know if he could read minds) and then she's muttering like a loon.  All in a days work.