Today's word was chosen by my dad who thought my fridge magnets were great.

 

 

Logarithm - n. one of a series of numbers set out in tables, used to simplify calculations

 

 

The Oxford Minidictionary (1981) Oxford University Press

 

 

p.s. I'm bored of word of the day already - well that lasted long didn't it?!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.... actually I think I could be. 

 

Now with this major moving of the furniture in my sitting room I found that my TV aerial lead was too short.  So I thought "No problem!  I can nip down to argos and buy a new lead".  I went for a swim afterwards all smug in the fact that I didn't need a man (or a dad - not that a dad isn't a man) to sort out this wee problem for me!

 

So I got home and for some reason didn't seem to think that this male-female stuff with the end actually applied to me.  Clearly I was having a moment.  So this part didn't fit into the other part.  Any logical person might consider that the end bits aren't right for each other and stop.  But oh no!  Not me!  I decided that I'm sure they would fit somehow.  So I mashed them together with a great deal of force and obviously they didn't work.  So then came the moment when I tried to pull them apart... er, well the cable has come away from the socket bits but the parts won't undo!  So basically I've stuffed up the existing aerial lead and the brand new aerial lead.    To say that I've broken it all is a fair assessment of the situation.  Good job I didn't fancy watching telly tonight anyway....!  In fact, I'm sure I could even say that it was a deliberate act of vandalism in order to force me to study.... Well, there's a positive in everything right?!

 

Ah, just found an adapter thing in the bottom of the packaging for the lead.  Oops...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today was so-so.  But I did buy some beautiful beautiful shoes (see photos).  They're for tomorrow night.  Mum, Dave and I went into town first thing for breakfast.  I had my favourite - sausage sarnie - but only ate about half.  My s*dding appetite has b*ggered off.  It's most inconvenient.  Anyways, mum and I wandered around the shops looking for some shoes (someone had advised retail therapy works) and we had almost given up hope when we went into the last shop on the list, Clarks.  I didn't expect to see what I was looking for but these shoes just looked at me.  I swear, if shoes could wink, these winked.  I wasn't too sure about them though until I tried them on.  Had to have them.  Immediately. 

 

Mum almost bumped into her arch-enemy today - my step-mum.  We were just leaving a shop, luckily, when I caught sight of my step-mum perusing the sock section.  I had to do a quick "come on then mum, lets get out of here" whilst ushering her away discretely.  Crisis averted.  That could have been very messy indeed.  Phew.

 

Sorry, I need to just say, I want to smack Pauline Folwer in the gob (well, maybe not smack her, maybe bash her with a french stick?).  I know it's just telly... but she's bang out of order manipulating Martin like that.  Bang out of order. 

 

Where was I?  Eastenders put me off for a mo!

 

It was lovely to see mum and Dave.  They've gone home now but it was great they came to stay.  Mum sorted out the flat (hurrah!) but did make Dave make a shelf unit for one of my cupboards.  Poor chap.  We drank sherry (!) whilst he sawed away!  I do really appreciate it though. 

 

I decided to paint my toenails tonight ready for tomorrow.  I found some of those strange toe divider things.  Whoever invented them??  If I'm honest I didn't know how to use them!  There are four spaces for toes, which toes do you wedge in??  Pass.  Well, in good spirit I stuffed my toes in any which way (do you wedge from below or above?  Who knows!) and proceeded to paint the nails.  Actually, I found I painted my entire toes and not just my nails.  But hey ho, all in the name beauty.  Will nail polish go funny in chlorinated water?  That's shocking, I should know that.  It's been years since I've been swimming.  Tomorrow the tankini gets it's first dip. 

 

OOoooo Pauline's secret is uncovered!  Ooooooooo.

 

You know what?  I'd like to stop feeling confused.

 

p.s. that other photo is the HUGE tube of rolos my gran sent me!

Dad took a little boat out of the harbour in Torquay this morning.  He was standing up to his waist in freezing seawater and then crushed his finger between the boat and the harbour wall.  Upon telling me there was claret everywhere, and me saying "be careful it doesn't get infected"  he said

 

"Don't worry about that, I've strapped it up with bog roll.  It'll be fine, it's been in sea water.  I'm more concerned that my balls have shrivelled up!". 

Ok.  It's fair to say it's not been the best week in the world.  Has it been the worst?  Raking my brain for examples of crappy weeks... nope.  I can safely say it doesn't top the week when I was in my first flat, water came through the bathroom ceiling and then the benefits agency stopped all payments and I received several demands for dosh I didn't have (and then had to take time off college to sort out the "admin error").  I must add, though, for all you people who are anti-benefit claimers, I was just 18 and doing my A-Levels whilst living independently.  And I've more than paid it all back and then some!  I can easily say that was possibly the darkest week yet - quite literally as I had to turn off the electricity and my landlord refused to send out an electrician to check I could turn it all back on again (the water came through my lights!).  After waiting a few days dad took responsibility and switched the magic electric button whilst I crossed my fingers and clutched a first aid manual (I did swot up first on electrical burns, I'm sure I had shoes on and there was a broom to hand)! 

 

Ok.  Here goes:

 

 

Playing kiss chase in my tiny flat - it doesn't matter what's happened since.  That was ace.

 

On being told I've been relieved of my girlfriend status someone said "You what?  You've had a dump????". 

 

Finding out how many amazing friends I have and how supportive they and my family are.  I'm humbled.

 

Dropping a glass of wine in the pub on Thursday night right at a critical moment of the quiz when all people are quite - yep, it smashed and went EVERYWHERE.  And we lost the quiz too. Ooo and the anagram question?  The word was EMOTIONAL.  Haha!  They couldn't have picked a more appropriate word if they'd tried!!!

 

Dropping Herbert The Oak Tree on Friday as I walked into my flat (yes, a glass of wine had been consumed - just the one - but I was carrying rather a lot of stuff).  Herbert ricocheted off my door, he fell one way, the soil went the other and a fine (soggy) mess was created.  Followed by the large exclamation of the word "B*ll*cks!".  I think Herbert has survived.  I hoovered up immediately, possibly just smearing mud into the floor....oops?!  I'm sure the neighbours were peering at me through their spyhole wondering what this muttering woman was doing!

 

I couldn't find my doorkeys yesterday morning.  I looked everywhere for them.  Then realised I'd left them in the front door on the outside.  Oops.  Very careless indeed.

 

That sitting around feeling crap doesn't get the flat tidy ready for my mum's imminent arrival.  And that my rubbish bin really stinks (senses have returned?).

 

Speaking of which, she's due in about an hour!  ARG.  The flat is a total tip.  I have warned her though that it's not as spick and span as one would expect... I think I might have made her day on Friday.  I realised I couldn't get my head round finding a home for everything (ah, you don't know do you?  Well, when my bed arrived on Tuesday I had considered it an excellent idea to take pretty much ALL the stuff out of my bedroom to make space.  "I'll rearrange the room around the bed".  Only, for obvious reasons, I momentarily lost my motivation.  And although I have pushed boxes of stuff from one side of the room to the other with the excuse "see?  I did try!" the flat still looks like a bit of a jumble sale).  Right, where was I?  Oh yes, making my mum's year.  I basically said to her "the flat is a mess, I can't find homes for things... <dramatic pause> will you help me please?".  You could literally hear her eyebrows ping up with shocked pleasurable surprise.   "Oh really?  You want my help?  Really?".  "Yes please mum".  "Well, if you're sure?  Are you sure?"  "Absolutely" I replied (shutting my eyes wondering if in a few days I would realise what a mistake I may have made).  You see, my mum organising is like a woman possessed.  Although I have to admit she is amazing at it.  Luckily for her I'm not 100% and still seem to have the "do what you want to my abode" attitude.  Although there two clauses in that:

 

1) my bed stays where it is.  I don't want it against the other wall because then I can hear my neighbours 'at it'.

2) None of my textiles stuff gets chucked.  

 

You know what?  I can't wait to see my mum.  Nothing beats one of her hugs.  And my dad has even said he might insist I stay with him for a few days.  We're not the closest, but by God I love my family.  It just takes something crappy to make me realise how amazing they are.

 

xx

I've been dumped.  By email.  I'm devastated.