Noon today the plane from Exeter landed at Belfast City only marginally late.  I watched from the lounge as they loaded our luggage, refuelled, restocked the teabag department etc etc.  Then our flight time came and went.  A man came on the tannoy "....your plane has just landed and we are awaiting the ground staff to authorise boarding...".  Erm well that was a lie, it'd landed half hour earlier.  So then someone wandered under the plane, put up a step ladder and disappeared into the tail.  Erm..  Well that isn't normal.  So when the lounge lady came to pick up a dirty cup I asked what was happening.  She rang down....  "it's just routine maintenance" she said.  Hm.  Then they got another stepladder and had a good nosy at one of the propellers.  As we were called to board the ladder was still under the plane.  I wasn't feeling hugely confident and did consider leaving the airport.... When I got to the gate they'd diverted to another plane and that was that.  Phew.  (Picture: view from 2C today, marvellous stuff)

Today, it arrived.  With the first phone call from a lovely BT person waking me up with a cheerful "this is your alarm call....".  I finally ended the revision at about 2am last night....needless to say I was paranoid I wouldn't wake up today in time.

So I got to the exam centre.  I walked up the drive and thought "Gosh how grand!  What a beautiful building".  It looked so fabulous I took a photo.  I walked around for a bit - I was dreadfully early.  And the 'College Hall'....well that grand building there... that's not the College Hall.  No no no.  What do they put behind that gorgeous lovely building?  They put a hut.

THAT is the College Hall.  Hm.  So anyway, I battled through the nervous smokers (all one of them) and went inside.... everyone looked at me.  I sat down.  Everyone continued to look at me.  I looked at the floor.  Everyone looked at me looking at the floor.  Then someone else walked in.  So we all looked at them.  They walked to the notice board.  We followed with our eyes.  I was no longer the object of observation.  That person sat down.  We watched them.  Someone got up and left the waiting area.  We watched them leave.  We probably all thought "where's he going?".  I specifically thought "is he going near some tea?" and "should I follow him?".  So I got up and left.  I could feel the eyes bore into my back.  I bet others wanted to leave too but they couldn't face The Eyes.  The waiting room, it was just like that of the family planning clinic in Ore, Hastings circa 1996.  It was just too weird. 

I wandered around.  Sighed quite a lot.  Looked at the sky for inspiration.  That sort of thing. 

We all got called in.... I went to my allocated desk and very quickly realised it was too small to house my handbook, exam paper, the answer paper, two calculators, a ruler, three pens, one highligher, one pencil, a Tippex mouse, three packets of sweets, a fudge bar, a banana and a bottle of Tropical Juice (that I chose because it provides excellent help during times of hangover and therefore must increase brainpower tenfold).  So I put the Tippex mouse on the floor.  Followed by the drink.  I did, however, pat myself on the back for not bringing a flask - the desk was an old-style school one with a slanty-top.  The cup would just have slid down the desk resulting in disaster. 

The paper was terrible.  I did an awful lot of "I'll come back to that question" only to find, at the end, that I didn't have time.  This was all hindered by the fact that, halfway through the exam, my packet of polos (which I'd opened completely in preparation) tipped and I had multiple Polos rolling down the desk in a haphazard manner.  I picked one up and put it back, so another one came tumbling down and so forth.  This went on for about five minutes.  It was a mini crisis in itself (luckily I'd eaten all the fruit pastilles and wine gums by that point or it'd been a proper confectionary carnage).  At the end of the exam the invigilator came up to me, took one look at my desk (empty wrappers and stray polos scattered) and simply exclaimed "Oh dear".  Well a girl needs sweets in times of stress.  I was so frazzled I couldn't work out where a paperclip had magically appeared from and why it was there.  "Erm, that's to clip the paper to the back of your answer booklets" stated the invigilator (after making some snotty comment about how-did-I-expect-my-paper-to-stay-attached-to-the-booklets).  "Oh!" I said "I wondered where that came from".  Well I'm sorry, I was too busy SITTING THE EXAM to realise the paperclip fairy had visited.  Grrr.  Well, actually, my first thought was "I have big paperclips like that, they're great".  Like I said, I was frazzled.

AHHHH!  Exam in 11 hours.  AHHHH!

Get in my brain knowledge get in my brain.  Oh god, what if the taxi doesn't show up?  What if I don't wake up in time???  What if, I, er, fall down a big hole in the road and get stuck?  What if what if WHAT IF!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

In true revision-avoidance style, I've taken it upon myself to think of new and exciting ways to make money.  As you do when a scary exam is less than 39 hours away...

My latest idea - to write a book.  I've not yet decided what it'll be about.  Potentially about a group of squirrels that live in a wood where the trees are broccoli florets.  The squirrels are hunted by evil giant snails.  But what the squirrels don't realise is that they're not really being hunted - the snails are just trying to give them back a lost handbag.  Or something.

Or maybe it could be a life story.  That'll be a short story.  Got born.  Lived a bit.  Worked some more.  Studied a lot.  Had heart broken.  The end.  I think that one will need to be padded out with psychedelic illustrations.   I wish I could draw.  Well someone out there would say "but everyone can draw....".  So for that smartarse I'll rephrase.  I wish I could draw so that other people can make out the image without requiring it to be annotated with arrows and little comments like "<--- this is a shoe"..

Ok ok, I'm talking drivel... must get back to the integration.  Gosh, isn't this just what life is about?!

"Oh no, it's broccoli, look at it, it looks like a tree, oh no I won't eat that".  Because it looks like a tree?  Well there's logic for you.  I've just got "Freaky Eaters" on and it's quite entertaining.  

Not a hugely successful revision day if I'm honest.  Having finally drifted off to sleep at 5am (the party decided to get a bit quieter then, well lucky me) I didn't wake up until lunchtime.  Great.  Half a day wasted.  Grrr.  So I did study all afternoon but the brain is wandering slightly....

...to looking out the window.  Is it a bit odd that the apartment opposite has A4 pictures of faces on the walls?  As in completely covering the wall....that's a bit strange isn't it?  Unless he's a photographer I guess.

I think I've turned into an old woman.  I've started to use rubber gloves when I'm washing up.  That's a very old woman thing to do yes?  But the water is so hot I've got to really....  Hm.  Next stop blue rinse and trolley bags....

Aaahhhhh.  It's nearly four in the morning and my neighbours are having another party.  An EXCESSIVELY LOUD party.  I was incredibly dull and called the night noise control people but unfortunately it's too late for them to attend and they told me to call the police.  Well I'm not doing that.  Calling the council is one thing, calling the police is a whole other matter.  I'll just have to stay awake all night and complain to the management company on Monday.  If I wasn't so tired I'd study.... but I can't study because of the BLOODY NOISE.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  I'm doing my nut in here.

Here I am in Belfast, staring at the ceiling trying very hard to revise.  It's exam time and with the MS221 exam fast approaching (Wednesday morning) I'm attempting to cram as much information in my brain as possible.  I started with good intentions.....driving lesson first (about that later) then started studying at 11..... phone call with dad at half past.... bit more study.... time for a cuppa at twelve.  Oh look mum rang at half twelve... now it's time for lunch.   An hour more study.... then cheese on toast time.  Well, thinking about it a break is good, watching episode 1 of season 1 of Grey's Anatomy was just the trick (obviously today was a good day to start on my quest to watch every single episode available).  Then it was time to check emails.... text a few people, came across youtube.... now I find it's 7pm and I've not got very much done today.  And then I remembered I've not blogged for an age.  And, in a minute, I'll need to stroll to Tesco to get milk.  And wine.  Lots of wine.  Perhaps a box of wine.  At the age of 29 I can say, hand on heart, that I've NEVER bought a box of wine before.  Is it wrong that I'm going to buy one with the knowledge that I plan to drink the entire lot??  Well, obviously not in one go.... I'll never pass the exam if that's the case.  But, well, they keep in boxes don't they?  Although bottles are more fun with the whole corkscrew action moment at the start.  Boxes are a bit boring.... no glug glug glug sound as you pour the wine.  Is it even 'pouring' if it's from a box?  Hm.  Who knows. 

Ok, I've sung my all empowering "I Will Survive" and "I Am What I Am", I've wacked on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack, am singing along loudly to "Big Girls Don't Cry"... it's very time to do some differentiation.  Woo math rocks!  <sarcasm>